Working out may or may not be hazardous to your health...

So I work at a daycare, with a bunch of women.  I'll give you all a moment to let that sink in before I continue... OK we good now?
We are currently in the process of conducting our very own Biggest Loser Challenge because lets face it ladies, those donuts aren't gonna burn themselves off my ass.  Today began like every other Wednesday, except the planets aligned and I get outta that place at 3pm!!! 3pm as opposed to my usual 530.  Keep in mind I tend to work at 745 EVERY SINGLE MORNING!
So, being the lean, mean, fat burning machine that this ridiculous competition has turned me into, I called up my mom and told her we needed to go on a walk! She informs me that she would rather walk a mosquito infested "nature" trail than walk around her perfectly mosquito free neighborhood.  OK, I agreed.  As we're walking, we spot a group of fairly decent looking young gentleman engaging in what you Americans call "Softball".  What exactly the difference is between Baseball and this "Softball" that you all refer to is unknown to me.  I used to think it referred to the ridiculous increase in ball size... Not those balls you pervert, wrong blog!  Well I used to think that a softball was in fact SOFT, oh no my friends, it is not.  You see I had to learn the hard way that it hurts, it hurts A LOT to get hit in the back with a softball.  Because you see, as I'm walking to try and shed some pounds so that I don't completely suck at life during the weekly weigh-ins, I get nailed square in the back with a stupid SOFTBALL! The decent looking gentlemen kindly apologized, my mother however felt it was OK to laugh at her daughters injury in plain view of the public.  Nevermind that there is now a searing pain going through my back, my mother seems completely unfazed by my injury and proceeded to laugh at me the entire walk back to her car... yes, I had to WALK back to the car.
You see, with this not only have I proven that it should be called "HARDball", I also proved why it is more beneficial to my health to sit on my ass all day and watch TV.  I have never been hit by a stray ball while watching the Discovery Channel... I rest my case.